I want my daddy!

Why can't life be simple. I need a break. Is it that hard to fathom that I need some time to myself. Let's start with: I am a good mother, I took care of so many children and did a great job of it.....Here comes the fun part..... I can't seem to figure out what is going on with one of my children. One is like they are supposed to be, but the other...is another story... The problem is that I am not on the same page, but want to be. He pushes every button that there possibly can be and does it only to me... He is great with everyone else... I feel like the worst mom in the world because I can't figure out how to deal with it. I am trying, but nothing seems to be working. I am not cracking through the lining. I honestly feel like giving up. Maybe I should run away, but my bullishness as a Taurus and as a good mom will never deter me. What do I do? Do any parents feel like this. Parenting is much harder than teaching... any day... I was a childcare person for many years, but I gave the kids back... This is harder, because these are your own children you love from the depths of our soul and they know it and they will push your buttons more than any other person in your life. I am not talking about a little bit of childish rebel, but of constant moments that keep persisting and don't show an end... I am at my wit's end.................

Summer days are here

I have been so busy lately. I thought summer days are supposed to be lazy days, but they haven't been so far. I have been up earlier than I usually get up, and have been running around like crazy from morning till night. I remember the days when I used to get up at 11 am and then I would go out and lay out on my deck or on a mattress in my pool and just soak in the sun and water, listening to music. I wish I could have bottled up those moments and had them now to get a little taste of them. The good ole days, the peaceful and fun days. I still have fun, but not peaceful, fun days. Don't get me wrong though, I love having my family, but I just would love to have a taste of the good ole days. I wish I could just open up a book and read it in the sun with no one to interrupt me. I can't do that these days because there is never a moment of no interruption or a time where I am not worried about what is going on around me. I have to be a hawk to keep my children safe. I need to pay attention 24/7, so that they will stay safe. I have so much to do... clean the house, have the children and cat fed, run errands, take the kids where they need to go, potty train the little one, work, exercise, clean the house again, clean the children, etc...etc.... There is just not enough time in the day, but even if there was, I would be too exhausted to do anything else. Plus, we all know, more things would be piled on to that list that would not include any sort of relaxation... Maybe a vacation is what I need...I think that is what my brain is telling me. It's telling me, "Crazy girl, it's time to take a long needed vacation. Time to say, I have had it and just go".