No show

I am sorry to any of my followers, if I haven't shown up for a couple of days. I sometimes need to hide within myself and can't deal with priorities that may arise. Just like this blog that took a year for me to finally start. I have a laptop with a broken screen that needs to be sent in to the warranty place and it has been sitting on a table for 2 months. I just can't seem to finish certain things. For some reason, certain things in my life just seem so hard to do, when they really are so simple for most people. I do the same with bills sometimes...I pretend they aren't there and then I end up with a huge bill because I didn't pay them on time and they decided to tack on late fees. Oh and items that need to be returned to the store that never make it there until it's too late to return. Yeah, I really suck at life. I can't seem to function quite right. Sometimes I can get things done on time and everything will flow perfectly and then there are times that I am just lost in a big squall that's called life. I am a total lost cause most of the time. I don't know if I could ever totally survive on my own. I feel like I would sink and not be able to ever come back up for air. I need to figure out why I do this to myself. It's like I have something inside me that wants to destroy the essence of me. I will finally get the wheels churning and everything is in the correct gear and it's like I throw a stick into it and the whole thing blows up in my face. At least, my kids are coming out right. I can say that I put most of my attention on them and they seem to be doing great. I just need to figure out the puzzle inside my head and fit the pieces together.